Loneliness & Motherhood
When I became a mother, I thought it would be the happiest time of my life—often portrayed as a blissful, joyful journey. Full of happy family memories and endless love. But my romanticized view of motherhood was quickly challenged by the sleepless nights, endless to-do lists, new expectations, and the unseen struggle of loneliness.
Even surrounded by a supportive spouse, loving family, and friends, many mothers struggle with the unseen feelings of loneliness. These feelings of loneliness are often connected to feeling disconnected from the outside world, changes in identity, and the person they were before motherhood. These feelings often conflict with our expectations of motherhood and can lead to shame, guilt, and confusion. You are not alone if you’ve struggled with loneliness in your motherhood journey. Here are some practical tips to help navigate the emotional challenges of motherhood and find ways to connect with others.
1. Build A Support System
Having a support system is one of the most effective ways to combat loneliness in motherhood. Building a strong, supportive network of people you can reach out to and be honest with about the challenges of motherhood is highly beneficial. One recommendation is to find a local moms group or even an online community where you can share your experience and receive support. Another recommendation is to seek support through counseling. Counseling can provide a safe space to explore all of the changes and emotions that come with motherhood. It also provides tools to help you navigate the challenges and range of emotions that you may experience.
2. Self-Compassion
As moms, we often feel the world's weight on our shoulders. There are so many expectations that we feel either through the words of others, social media, or our ideas of what makes a perfect mom. Many moms experience negative self-talk and shame because they feel they do not measure up. Practicing self-compassion and allowing yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions that comes with motherhood can be freeing and therapeutic. Reframing expectations and giving yourself a big dose of grace can help stop the shame spiral and allow you to ask for help and support when needed.
3. Self-Care
Taking time to recharge and refresh is critical to combating loneliness and overwhelm in motherhood. Carving out time each day for activities that recharge you can help you feel refreshed and engaged. This could include taking a walk, reading a book, or spending time with friends. As moms, we often care for everyone else, leaving our needs last on the list. Taking time each day to care for yourself gives you more energy and patience to give to your family.
If you are experiencing isolation and loneliness in motherhood, you are not alone. Acknowledging these feelings is the first step in finding the support and help for your well-being. Seeking support through counseling, a mom's support group, or trusted friends are powerful ways to reduce feelings of isolation. As you navigate motherhood's new challenges and feelings, be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best that you can, and that is more than enough.
Written by: Mary Abbott
