Good Kids
Are you being a good boy / girl?
A common question parents ask… with a toxic consequence. It tells us as small children that our worth is tied into our behaviors. It begins to instill shame with every mistake. In our childhood minds we draw the conclusion that if we were not behaving how our parent expected us to, we are "bad". Ask any 5 year old child about a "bad guy" and you will quickly learn, that this is possibly one of the worst things you could be. Our primary caregivers write the beginning of our identity story. This is a powerful responsibility. Unfortunately, there are many who lack the education, empathy, or desire to adeptly use the gift that they were given. The heart of the issue isn't just a parenting problem though, it is a broken people problem. When shame is woven through the beginning of our story, it has a tendency of reappearing in the rest of the tale.
So then we become adults who operate out of a voice of shame in our hearts. We try to perform our way into being good enough. We get good grades. We succeed in our jobs. We try and make our outer appearance match our mental standard of "should". We people please. We say "yes" when our insides say "no". We don't even know how to listen to our inside voice. What does it sound like? We allow others to treat us disrespectfully. We accept less than what we deserve in our relationships. Or sometime we give up because all this can be quite exhausting to maintain. We lash out at others. Do you see the way shame can be a toxic vine, choking out the good stuff?
We can take control of our shame story. We start by recognizing the threads of the "I am not good enough" thinking and we then can begin to pull them out of our thought patterns. Face the beginning of your story in all it's ugliness and it's beauty and claim the Truth in it. Call the hurt, wrong. Call the blessings, His grace. And begin to take the pen away from those who started the writing. Identifying Truth gives us the power to have freedom from it. When we ignore, avoid, or straight run from it… it still holds it's power. It is not fully living, it is living a life of reaction. His story is about freedom and strength, it has great value when it is told. His story for you is the most beautiful, adventurous tale. Are you living it? Are you telling it?
Write your story on my heart. By: Francesca Battistelli
I want my history
To be Your legacy
Go ahead and show this world
What You've done in me
And when the music fades
I want my life to say…
